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February 2009
What Are The Odds?
24 February 2009 - 16:44
...really, somebody out there who knows something about statistics, please tell me! What are the odds??
Today, in downtown Brno, at Česka actually, I was minding my own business waiting for a friend. Some nice gentlemen approached me and said... well he said something in Czech and have honestly don't know what! I quickly responded with the standard, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Czech", but in Czech of course.
He frowned slightly and asked if I spoke English or German. I said, with a sigh of relief that I speak English. He then proceeded with the most British accent ever, "I'm looking for 'Masaryk University Faculty of Psychology' Do you live here? Can you help me?" Floored, I said "Uhh... yeah. I live here." And then of course, I went on telling him that I have absolutely no idea where that particular faculty is, but I was able to point him towards the Faculty of Social Studies, since it was just down the street. He found that helpful enough.
It's nothing special, but I just found it interesting to be minding my own business and be approached by a complete stranger who suspected me to be Czech and all that jazz, but really we're just both native English speakers. Who woulda' thunk it?
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Some Years Ago...
20 February 2009 - 16:21
I was just lying in bed thinking, thinking about days back when. I listened to a song today, "Jungle" by KISS. Moreover, I listened to the whole album from which it comes "Carnival of Souls". So, my thinking took me back some years ago to when this album was released. I remember being super excited, especially for being a 9 year old (this was back in 1997), about this album coming out. I remember my dad and I listening to the radio for this song. Of course, at the time, it was a spectacular song. I got the CD for Christmas and practically wore it out.
Those days were simple, much more simple. For anyone at that age, life is simple I think. Am I complaining about having a complicated life? Of course not! I love having responsibilities, especially really important ones. I love being able to do as I want and receive what I work for and nothing more. If I don't work for something and deserve it, then I don't get it. It's as simple as that. That applies to anyone, except 9 year olds with selfless parents like I had.
I think the issue for me now is that I really want something, something special, something only one other person could possibly understand and I am MORE than willing to work for it. However, I'm just sitting on my butt here in the Czech Republic and it's getting me nowhere close to my goal. Am I wishing my time away? Well no, but am I hoping that I could start to do something useful for once? YES! As much as I dearly love this life of leisure, it isn't who I am or who I want to be.
I came here, to find myself. That's the bottom line. I came here to discover my place in this world, where I belong and who I am. Now, I am finding that place and that person, but, from where I sit right now, there isn't so much I can do about it. Luckily, there are a few things I can do and I am doing them! I have decided to live more healthy. Thankfully, I now live with a completely ripped (very healthy and muscular) Korean who is all about eating right and exercising. So, using his knowledge as a foundation, I have entirely restructured my eating habits and began a simple exercise routine.
I suppose that's step number two in my long-term goals, getting in shape. Now, to stick to it! I think I can handle it. I'm still waiting to hear from NKU regarding my admittance (step one). Granted, it was just two days ago or so, but the faster I hear back from there, the faster I can get onto step three, finding an apartment (flat) and job near NKU. That will be incredible difficult I think, but I can manage it as well.
In the meantime, I suppose I should just relax and enjoy what little time I have left here. The best I can figure, it's about 130 days until I'll be back home in the US. At that point, I'm going to hit the ground running. No more screwing around! I've got my eye on the prize and will stop at nothing. The worse part of it all is that I want my prize and I want it now. That's my motivation and that's everything that matters.
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Step One
18 February 2009 - 07:30
Last night, I took the first step of the path towards my new goal. Still, not that I will go through with it, but I have to start preparing already. Regardless, I need to so this anyway. It's about time I get my life serious and rolling. I applied to NKU. I'm not, at the moment, 100% thrilled about that because it is also the first step in my leaving of here...
I haven't fears of not being accepted, that certainly wouldn't be an issue. In fact, I'm not too concerned about any of it. Whether or not I go to school there, or Murray or UK, it doesn't matter so much. At this point, I just have to get on top of it all and get much more serious. Yeah, I screwed around my first two years and then now, I'm taking this whole year off to sabbatical in Europe, but it all brought me to here, brought me to now, when I've realized it's my time.
Though I am in no way "behind" anyone, as life is not a race, especially considering what is the "finish line", I do feel as if I should not waste even one second. I must get the ball rolling. I must get a move on. Time is of the essence! So many things change with time and if I don't get serious and don't get going immediately, then there is always the chance that things could change in an undesired way.
In the meantime, there are a dew details which I must take care. Most importantly, is my Czech. If I'm even thinking about doing this, I have to be able to speak it. There is no other way. Secondly, I have to create a plan of action. I have to do a lot of research to find out what I can and cannot do and how much time it will take for me to get there. I want to get through with my education as soon as possible now. I should have had this in mind all along, but I was doing it my way and that's all the matters. Now, I feel if I don't get back here as soon as I can then, I may very well loose entirely the reasons for coming. They will simply fade away with time and I certainly don't want that.
I must realize though, that there is still plenty of time. Certain things cannot be rushed and I absolutely am not wishing away my precious time here! I still have to actually make the decision first, before I can fully go through with it. But, still, I must start preparing for life now. Being prepared, it's kinda' like my motto or something...
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The Reality of It All
17 February 2009 - 10:59
So far this month has certainly been up and down and up and down again. As I've told some people, February is always certainly an adventure. Right now I'm not entirely sure whether I'm on top of the world or completely rock bottom. I think it really changes hour to hour, but there is no in between. The constant change is what's worse. If it would just remain steady at either high or low, then it would be much easier.
However, in general, for the majority of my time, at least over the past three days or so, I've been feeling pretty at the top. So, it isn't so bad. A lot, really, A LOT of thinking has been going on inside my head in these three days. Millions and millions of processor cycles per second soaring through my skull. Luckily, I knew what to think all along, just not exactly how to deal with it. I can think Sarah for that one!
Somehow, she new what to say, what to advise me and thank God I listened! Had I not I could have easily let the what is turning out to be the best thing to have ever happened to me slip right through my fingers. All I had to do to stop it was say that I didn't want that, and that was enough. Of course, it wasn't quite so simply when actually saying it, but never-the-less, the result is as much desired.
So, the reality of it all, is that I'm really, honestly and truly considering staying here, right where I am. Not right away however. I will return home on the first of July, as planned. I will finish my education and get a degree. Then, I will catch the first plane back! In the meantime, with what little time I've left as it is so short, I must begin to make preparations as such.
It is most important however, that I don't get too caught up in it all though. I have to keep my head as clear and free as possible. I have to have fun! I have to travel, see, do and enjoy everything I can, while I'm here now, before life gets too serious. Though I am looking forward to a more serious life, I must not wish my time away and I'm not. I realize that so much can change between now and then because their are so many factors to consider. But, it's what I want to do and if that's true, then nothing can get in my way and nothing will stop me and I've good reason to believe that it is all very probable.
On the flip side, because I have to view all aspects, I will have to give up everything I've known to be back home. I have many, many memories their, my family, my friends and most importantly, it is the basis for who I am. Can I trade that all, one life i love for another life I love? Yes, I think I can. I think it's quite possible. Many sacrifices will be made, but that will be the trade off.
Alas, it should be stated that I have not suddenly "decided" to do this. I have been tossing the idea around in the back of my head for quite sometime. Now, I am just more strongly considering it. I have before been evenly divided on the issue, 50% for home and 50% for here. As it is now, I just have a much stronger pull to stay here. I have more reason to be here. I want to be here. Be it that I am much more serious about this, I have so much to consider and to think about. In the end, it will all work out as it is supposed to, but it won't be easy and it won't come without blood. But, with all the effort and time put into it, it will be all the sweeter in the very end.
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She is very dangerous to me.
16 February 2009 - 00:42
She is very dangerous to me.
I am unable to figure her out.
I simply cannot get inside her head.
I want so badly to know her, to understand her.
Alas, it cannot be done.
Staring into her eyes I become lost.
Lost in a world I've never known before,
Never new existed, never knew to be possible.
I am completely under her command.
They are my biggest weakness.
Their power and might could destroy even the strongest of men,
bring down any institution, or level any city.
They will be the death of me.
She is unbelievably sexy.
Her long, naked legs so slender, so sweet.
Nothing else compares.
Nothing else matters.
Filled with sensual desires, not lust.
Nor sins of the flesh.
I want to touch her, feel her, be with her.
I want to be a part of her, in this moment, forever.
She is very dangerous to me.
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Livin', Lovin' and Life Is Good
14 February 2009 - 12:35
Dang, life is good. It's crazy, very crazy, but it is so good. No lie. I'm guess I'm only saying this 'cause things are up right now. If there were down, I'd be pissed off and grumpy, but that's life I guess. It's a bit of a paradox or something like that.
Anyway, this month is turning out to be surprisingly well. Certainly this is the best February I can remember! And that is very surprising. Really, I hate this bloody month. It always sucks a big one. I guess there is a first time for everything.
I'll go back to Thursday. It started off pretty bad, as I kinda' expected. I was up pretty late the night before and had been drinking, though no hangover. It takes A LOT to get a hang over now. I had class that day, so that was a bummer because it's the first of the semester. That's never a way to start your day. By the late afternoon, things were going pretty smoothly. In the evening, I had dinner with some friends. 5 girls, one from Latvia, Mexico, Russia, The Netherlands and Japan. How cool does that sound? I know, I am a BAMF... ;-)
Yesterday (Friday) I got up, had a nice breakfast and then made my way to Ikea with Erica (Mexico) and Irina (Latvia). We were there for half the day it seemed! Sounds crazy, but Ikea is crazy. You just want to buy a whole bunch of crap when you're there! Thankfully, we didn't buy anything we didn't need. In the evening, my super-awesome half-BAMF (he's in training) roommate cooked Korean style food for us. It was pretty good, though different that what I am used to for sure. I would eat it again.
After that I didn't do too much, just stayed up chatting on the internet with Irina. It sucks that she is leaving on Tuesday to return to her home (for good) because we are staring to have a pretty good connection. Pretty much, the reason she is going home as because of the global economic crisis. Her university is canceling her program as a result of fewer funds, as a result of economic depression, as a result of global economics, as a result of America's problems, as a result of Bush being the biggest retard to have ever lived. I guess that is one more reason not to like him... Indirectly, he is responsible for me loosing such a great friend!
Today, I got up at a quarter til nine and my roommate and I loaded up all our empty beer bottles to take the to Tesco for the return. At three crowns per bottle, its certainly worth it! I ended up getting just over 140 for my bottles. You do the math. I certainly did and figured that that was equal to a FREE CASE OF BEER!!! Oh happy day! That's exactly what I did, bought another case of beer. Also, I bought one of the coolest shirts I've ever owned, a Starobrno shirt. Best part, it was only seventy-eight crowns. That's about four dollars. I LOVE THE CZECH REPUBLIC!!!
Tonight, there will be a Valentine's day party at "Two Faces". Now, I really don't like this day. Not so much because of the holiday, but for other personal reasons, though I don't much care for the holiday either. It will be a "Traffic Light" party, so it should be quite interesting. If you don't know, you're supposed to wear green if you're single, yellow if it's complicated and red if you're in a relationship. That was another reason to buy such a great Starobrno shirt, it's green! You hear that ladies!? Tonight, I will be wearing GREEN!
That's all for now folks!!!
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Creeptastic!
12 February 2009 - 16:21
...well, it's not that bad, but it is interesting and a prefect example of how the internet works.
So, last night, there was a small group of us, I'd say fifty or so, heading to club Mandarin. I happened to be speaking with one new girl, American, about Brno. It came up that I was here as a result off being here before with the Olomouc-Owensboro Scouting Exchanges. Somehow, she said that she'd heard of this before, like she had read it online or something.
As it turns out, she had been googling Brno and such before coming to find out some things and came across my blog. She liked the pictures I had. So, I guess that's pretty good to hear. Maybe I'm not such a bad photographer despite the fact that I've no idea what I'm doing still!
It was just a bit weird to finally meet someone who had read my blog without me actually telling them to first. However, it was very cool at the same time.
*****
In this second part of my blog, completely unconnected with the first, I feel I must say something that should not have to be said, but apparently it must.
I'm just going to assume that the majority of people do not like getting punched in the face. It is a fairly safe assumption. With that assumption in mind, and if you had previously made it clear that you did not like getting punch in the face, and I did went ahead and did it to you anyway, how would that make you feel? The feelings in your face aside.
I'm going to make another assumption that you wouldn't like it, not at all. With that, why do people still insist on doing things to others they know they do not like. Granted, punching someone in the face is an extreme case, but it applies to anything, even the simple things. For instance, if you were on a date and you found out that the lady didn't like it when the guy always holds the door for her, you sure as hell wouldn't do that anymore!
All I'm trying to say is that we should all be a little bit more respectful of other people and their wishes, even if you don't agree with them. And especially if you're doing it just because you think it will be funny. That actually kinda' makes you look like a real jerk. Plus, it really, really sucks to be the person who is being offended, trust me, I know!
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25 Random Things
06 February 2009 - 17:14
...because I don't want to be like everyone else and put it on Facebook because I am that cool!
1) I am currently living in Brno, Czech Republic with a roommate from Seoul, South Korea and most of my neighbors are from Spain, Germany, France, Poland, Turkey, China, Hong Kong, Bulgaria and many other countries I cannot even remember.
2) I am completely clueless as to my roots! I have no idea where I come from because the stereotypical "nuclear" family has not been been such a popular concept with the generations before me. With that, it is almost impossible to trace. However, I am finding out through and long and pain-staking process that I am probably German with an Irish mix. At least it explains the drinking...
3) I am a very patriotic American, but as I learn more and more about my country from being away from it, I am increasingly dissatisfied with the government. I still love the place without out a doubt, but the interpretation of the ideas and principals on which it was founded has certainly changed.
4) One of my major flaws is claiming to not like something when I know I honestly don't know enough information about it to have a legitimate opinion and then later having to defend that position in order to not be wrong, even though my opinion has changed. Such is the case with the band Green Day. I originally claimed not to like them when I really didn't know much about them or their music. At this very moment, I am listening to "Holiday" and like it.
5) I haven't been on an actual date in over four and half years.
6) As open as I am to new ideas, ways or concepts, I am still very set in my own way. I love learning many new things, but I rarely incorporate them into my life. However, when I find something I really like, I actively pursue it until I am completely involved in it. For example, the Czech Republic. There is nothing in this world I like more than the Czech Republic and this has been the case for at least two years. When I do this, I am very rarely ever wrong. Luckily...
7) My life would not be how it is today without a few key things - Scouts and my Scouting Family, Music and my enthusiasm for native cultures. My scouting family has raised me as much, if not more than my actual family (partially because my actual family was a part of my scouting family). Literally, my life has background music. Nobody else can here it, but I can and it makes all the difference. The basis of my spirituality stems from native ideas learned throughout my years of study. It is important for me to be connected to nature and what it gives us, even though I live in such a technologically advances manor.
8) If I keep writing such thorough items, this will probably take all day! Yes, it's a "BS" cope out for one of my "things" but deal with it! Pimpin' ain't easy.
9) I am in the second semester of my third year in college and have just now figured out what I would like to major in, I think... As of now, the goal for when I return to the States is to enroll at Northern Kentucky University (NKU) with a major in Computer Information Technology with a specialization in Database and Web. Also, a minor in Native American Studies.
10) I am not racist, sexist and I try not to think with stereotypes. However, I feel that the must repressed group in America right now it the white, male middle-class. We have too much money to be eligible for financial assistance but not enough to always provide for ourselves (i.e. college). If we were to have an all male or all white college, people all over the country would have their panties in knots even though there are still female and black colleges. Anything we could possibly do to promote ourselves would be wrong in the eye of everyone else, thus making us a minority.
11) I am a firm supporter of gun rights and organizations. I firmly believe in gun control and keeping guns out of the hands of "bad" people. What I mean is that, I firmly believe it does not work! Because of this, I feel that ever capable citizen who feels comfortable enough having a gun should have one because there are far too many people out there who do NOT need them, but have them anyway. In a life or death situation, I would always choose mine and my family's over some "bad" guy.
12) I HATE politics (and politicians too)! Talking about "Politics" is exactly what "politics" are. Talking. Nothing is ever accomplished by talking. Action is the only manor by which something happens. If you spend your entire life complaining about something, but never do anything about it, don't expect anything to happen! Politicians are the main people responsible for doing this - talking without ever doing, hence why I don't like them. Unfortunately you never hear about those who are actually good because their careers are so short lived. If you feel strongly enough about something, then get off your a** and do it!
13) My English is worse than it has ever been. As much as I love living here with all these great people, their bad grammar and vocabulary is rubbing off on me. If that is the price I must pay, then so be it! So, if you've been reading over this and find a sentence that does not make any sense, that's probably why. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to proof this when I'm done, so it is quite likely you've already came across this.
14) I can cook and surprisingly, quite well. I did not know this until I got here and realized how ignorant most males are - Americans being the worst. I thought it was nothing nothing special, even sub par really. However, after getting here and realizing that the ability is more a gift than anything else. It makes me feel a little special. Of course, I've my scout family to thank for it. Most guys here can cook a thing or two and not much else, but generally the American guys can't cook a thing! There are a few exceptions.
15) I've kept a journal since being in Europe. As gay as it sounds, it actually is quite useful. I write down random thoughts and events every few days or so just to keep track of things. At first I did it just because it sounded like a good idea, but then I realized that I am sometimes as forgetful as someone with Alzheimer's.
16) Before coming to the Czech Republic, I had never drank a beer. Honestly. Back home, my friends and I drank mostly Whiskey or Jagermeister. Also, I apparently had no taste for alcohol before coming here either. Now, after trying many, many new things, I am able to place things as they should be. I have fallen in love with beer, especially Czech Pivo. I also have a slight taste for wine, though I would choose a beer first. However, I still love Kentucky Bourbon best of all. Even after a few beers, nothing can beat how a little taste of home makes you feel.
17) By venturing out into the world, I have realized how bad off Owensboro really is. Life there, for most people, is nothing more than working, paying taxes and dying. That's SICK, but very, very true. Sure, some people take pleasure in some hobby or activity outside of work, but still they know nothing of this world and what it really has to offer. I realize how fortunate I am to have such an opportunity to experience this. Even though most people won't have the same opportunity, that is no excuse for such ignorance and misunderstanding. There are other ways, really.
18) At least six times since starting writing this, I have tried to push "Ctrl + S" to save. However, it does nothing...
19) A few goals I've in mind for when I return, other than NKU, are buying a Bersa .380 Duo Tone Pistol, learning how to play bass guitar (really just doing it because I already know how, though I do not have one. So, I guess I'll buy one) and becoming more independent than I was before I left.
20) Every since the other day when I was yelled at by a random Slovak guy, I have been trying my hardest to learn Czech. He went off on me saying "...you've lived here for six months and you don't know or understand anything..." The irony of it was that I understood him, even though it was all in Czech. Still, it was enough. He was right. I told myself, and others, that I would do it and now I finally am!
21) I don't read nearly as much as I should. In fact, I rarely read at all. Here, I have a slight excuse because it is very difficult to find English books. However, at home, I sit in the dark. I know I should read often, every day even. The benefits are certainly worth the time. I know I could learn so much. I suppose, when I return home, I will sit in a library for six months until a librarian yells at me. That should put the appropriate fire under me.
22) I've never been satisfied with the way I look, even though I know looks aren't important. I'm not concerned with what others think of me, but I know that my looks have always reflected negatively upon me. I realize that long hair and a scruffy beard are the worst choices for improving my looks, but I feel it fits me best and therefore it's what I do. Perhaps, one genuine remark could change everything, but it hasn't happened yet, so I don't know.
23) I know who my real friends are. Really, I know. If you have even an inkling of question, then you aren't one of them. That's blunt, but true. That's because...
24) I don't "BS". I don't beat around the bush. I am truthful, honest and dead serious. I tell it like it is. If you want to know what I think of you, I will tell you, even if it isn't always a good thing. However, if you are a real friend of mine (see #23), then you have nothing to worry about!
25) I feel like I've opened up myself a bit by writing this. Of course, I haven't said half of the things I probably could say, but these are what came to me first. Perhaps, this will provide a little bit more of an insight to my crazy mind, but don't think too much of it. By tomorrow, it's bound to change!
Please Comment (subscribe to be able to leave comments),
Peace
Ctrl+S
***Update (07/02/2009)***
I proofed this blog and corrected a few spelling errors, etc... Nothing major!
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Unor - Day 3
03 February 2009 - 18:38
Persistence pays off - eventually, I guess. last night at Charlie's Hat, a pub here in Brno, some Czech girl honestly though I was Czech because I was speaking in Czech without any "foreign" accent. I'd have to say that's props, right? The situation was a little bit funny though, so let's throw down.
Over the past few days more and more new foreign exchange students, AKA "noobs", have arrived and of course in the evenings we take them out on the town to get trashed as it is our duty as veterans. In order to hold superiority over said noobs, we veterans make sure to use our limited to nonexistent Czech skills whenever possible. Mostly, this is as simple as ordering a beer which I am proud to say I can probably do eight different ways, all in Czech.
I was sharing my this knowledge with one particular fellow. Let's call him "Mark" because, well, that's his name. I was teaching him how to order a beer, say thank you and of course a few pickup lines. The easiest I know is "You have beautiful eyes - Maš krasná oči". Not but a few moments after teacher this to Mark, whilst I had my back turned from him, a beautiful Czech girl started a conversation with him.
Upon realizing this, I began to listen. She asked him if he knew any Czech. He instantly said, "No." As would have I back in the day. However, I said, "Don't you remember what I just taught you?" Of course, I had to remind him and when he said it to her, she gave me a look that was like "come on man, what the hell?" She went on talking with him for a bit and then asked me where I was from and then what I was studying. America and Czech. With that, she was quite surprised. She asked what I knew in Czech, which isn't much, but enough to not simply list off though that is what she was expecting. I told her a few simple things and she was more than she expected, especially considering the line I'd just indirectly fed her.
Maybe ten, or at the most fifteen, minutes later, I caught back up with this girl as she was speaking with some other foreign students, but they were practicing their Czech. At some point, I managed to chime in a few words. Most of the conversation was in English however. She then asked me, "Where are you from?" Confused, I responded, "America." She was in disbelief! She thought that I was from the Czech Republic or at least Slovakia or Poland and could speak Czech. She said that I absolutely did not sound like a foreign and it was as if I had a native accent. How awesome is that!? Wait, that's not a question, that is more of a statement really. So, feel free to leave comments reiterating the fact that that is in fact awesome!
That's that story, now as for an update on my previous blog. I went a full twenty-four hours at least with out so much as tasting a sip of booze, which was my initial personal goal. No, I didn't sit in my room and cry like a baby who wants a beer either. I manned up and went out to a bar and then a party for all the noobs, their "welcoming party" (a few pics on Facebook). Then, the next evening, I went out and only had one out of my two beer limit, as per my second personal goal.
Last night, my goal was to go out and have a few drinks without having to keep tab in numbers and have a good time all the whilst not staying out ridiculously late. I, easily, managed! I had five beers over the course of the night. However, the first two were early on in the evening in a small celebration with my new roommate who is a pretty cool guy. More details in a bit. So, as far as "being out" last night, I really only had 3, which is dandy. Yes, I said "dandy". Tonight, is a Mandarin night. many a bad things have been said about this club as just being their means you're probably trashed, though I have gone without drinking a sip. My goal is to have a few drinks, not get ripped, but have fun, even if that means staying out kinda' late. Also, It'd be really cool if I talked with some pretty girls there too...
Now, the moment I've had mixed feelings about for the past two months - my new roommate! He is, so far, a really cool guy. His name is Min and he is from South Korea, which I'll admit, I had to Google today just so I would know the lowdown. When he arrived yesterday at noon, I instantly got good vibes. I can just tell, it's gonna' be fun. In the evening, we sat down and prepared dinner. I made fried chicken and cheese and he made rice with seaweed and hot-sauce. I also offered fourth Czech beer. We had a great meal and even better conversation, though I must admit that the food choices do not compliment one another.
It was discovered that we share many things in common, almost scarily many. First off, we both agree that Bush sucked and is the face for all of the problems in the world today, namely the economic crisis. Second, we both are certain in the fact that women are greatly confusing and are not meant to be understood. Third, religion - there is a higher power unlike any human, but who can say what or how or who? Finally, and most importantly, whiskey is the best drink there is. Czech beer is good, and for me a very close second, but you can't top a nice flavorful, perfect shot of Kentucky bourbon, though he prefers other kinds of whiskey.
So far, despite my usual hatred for this month, things are going pretty smooth, but it is still only the third day in. We shall see what tomorrow and tonight bring (KISS reference). I'm sure that nothing will happen that kills the entire month, but it is quite possible that something could happen to smoother out the "high" I'm on right now - and no, I'm not doing any drugs. Life is just that good. Peace!
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